Chapter Four: Presence, being there.

This reflection is in three parts.

First is stepping back from the world and taking time out. Spending time with God, in prayer, spending time with colleagues, maybe stepping back before taking up the challenges that you face.

Second, a reflection on an important aspect of chaplaincy: presence.

Thirdly there is a time of prayer which concludes with the leader acting out the final part of the ‘Prayer Stool’

This Exercise is a whole group discussion, participants are welcomed and invited to comment or contribute at any time. Similarily, group members are free to remain quiet and complentative throughout

Objective: to emphasise the importance of ‘being’ rather than ‘doing.’

 Procedure:

A.  Assemble the whole group in a circle facing in

B.  One facilitator explains that this is a whole group session

C.  Facilitator acts out the ‘Prayer Stool’ to start the session

D. Facilitator reads the three paragraphs in the reflection pausing at the end of each for discussion

E. Another person could be asked to lead the prayer section

F. Facilitator concludes with the final act of the Prayer Stool drama.

Timing: Allow 30-45 minutes

The Prayer Stool                            ©Graham King

“I leave aside my shoes……My ambitions” [remove shoes]

“I Undo my watch…….My timetable” [Undo watch & lay down phone]

“I Unclip my pen…..My work”

“I Put down my keys…..My security”

“To be with you…..The true God, and with you my people” [widens arms to indicate people present]

 Prayer stool [to conclude at the end]

After being with you……
Open my eyes……To look at your world
I take up my shoes…To walk in your ways.
Strap on my watch….To live in your time
Clip on my pen……To write up your thoughts
Pick up my keys……To open your doors.

Reflection

A wise person once said…The spirituality of those who care must be the spirituality of the companion, of the friend who walks alongside, helping, sharing and sometimes just sitting, empty handed when he or she would rather run away.
It is the spirituality of presence, of being alongside, watchful, available, of being there.

Tom Gordon is a hospice chaplain. His approach to caring for the dying is the same as our approach to caring for patients in our hospitals and hospice  - the ill, the vulnerable, the disabled, the elderly, the frightened, the anxious, and the dying.   
Tom says it is not the voice that says
‘Don’t just stand there, do something’ which needs to be heeded.
Heed the voice which says
‘Don’t do something, don’t even necessarily say anything, just sit there, be there in their need.’
And it works.

Working as chaplains we are called to stand there, sit there, be there in the need of that person before us. We don’t need to have all the answers, but simply to treat that person with dignity and respect. To give them our time and our full attention. To show we care. Sometimes we may come away feeling we have offered little and made no difference, but if you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito!

Prayer

God of our lives you are always calling us to follow you into the future, inviting us to new ventures, new challenges, new ways to care, new ways to touch the hearts of all.    When we are fearful of the unknown, give us courage.  When we worry that we are not up to the task remind us that you would not call us  - If you did not believe in us.

 When we get tired or feel disappointed with the way things are going, remind us that you can bring change and hope out of the most difficult situations.

 God of our lives You know that it is the little things in life which mean so much.

The warmth of a friendly smile, the tenderness of a touch, the comfort that reassuring words can bring

The understanding of a listening ear.  Grant us the patience, willingness and grace to bring to others a soothing peace. Ours may not be to change the world but how we can make a difference.   Amen.

[Invite the group to pray aloud if they are comfortable with that]

After being with you……
I open my eyes……To look at your world
I take up my shoes…To walk in your ways [put shoes on]
Strap on my watch….To live in your time [put on watch & take up phone]
Clip on my pen……To write up your thoughts
Pick up my keys……To open your doors.